Jon's web-diary page 2

(Windows into the asylum)

This is Page 2 of the diary ..Click here for Page 1 (old stuff)

8th June 05 - G.A.S. I've never suffered from GAS. It's guitarists' terminology for "Guitar Acquisition Syndrome". I've always been a guitar monogamist - I like to know intimately every talent and foible, and then feel guilty when I betray her with another. Especially Gibson SGs, as they are home-wrecking harlots. I played at The London Guitar Show at Wembley last month, and I have never been in the same room as so many guitars in all my life, and I have to say it was terrifying. The more there is of something, the smaller they seem, so buying a guitar there is like taking one little cookie from a huge jar. Very, very easy. I restrained myself, although I was busy entertaining the throng much of the time. I did have time to bump into lots of friendly faces from The Guitar Institute where I studied, and Aussie-rocker Gwyn Ashton, and Amrit Sond, and blues-gospel genius Eric Bibb. I have all his albums, and most of them are signed copies! Nice to get to be a geeky fan again. Thanks to Roger and Moira from Fylde Guitars for sending the photo.

Fantastic photo by Mike Foster

These two audience photos are from The Acoustic Lounge in Clapham, London, June 7th 2005. As you can see, somebody has actually thrown a golf-ball at me, and I was knocked unconscious moments after this picture was taken. The mosh-pit was hell at that gig.

2nd May 05 - Am I elevator music? A couple of great gigs recently - my first visit to the beautiful Roman city of York, (the food isn't as good as in Rome, but the beer is much better); a friendly crowd at The Faversham in Leeds (i.e. the audience was full of the Leeds-music-mafia, who are in about 5 bands each); and the glorious Globe in Glossop, where you can buy a vegan curry and homemade bread for £1.50 and a superb pint for about the same, and then you go upstairs to the music venue and it's a stone-walled barn, with a huge ceiling and a big projection screen at the back of the stage. If you live anywhere near there, go now! NOW!

York, 27/4/05 photo by www.davidxgreen.com

The only downside of that gig was when the promoter, Rae (who is a top bloke, cheers Rae), said "When I heard your CD I immediately thought it would be good for lift music." Ouch. It turns out "Lift: Music" is the name of an acoustic night that he runs. (note to Americans: lift = elevator, therefore lift music = elevator music = schmaltzy boring muzak)
The below pic is from The Faversham in Leeds. There's an old audience pic from there in the depths of this diary, and the same mohawked mentalist (back-left, waving) can be seen in both photos. Has he left the place at all since last year? We can only guess

According to the lovely promoter, the idea behind this extraordinary flyer is to stick them up in phone booths in London, where they would blend in next to the other ladies' business cards on display. The gig is in Shoreditch, which is achingly trendy. It's very run down, but in a way which makes you think that artists come round every morning placing wrecked cars on street corners, and that the tramps are all actors. There is a bar there called "Dream Bags Jaguar Shoes", because it used to be 2 shops and they left the old signs up. It has "f*#k the turner prize" painted on the window: they don't care about the Turner Prize, but they want us all to know that they don't care about it.

It's an intoxicating feeling when people write reviews of me with comments like "the new Hendrix" (don't worry, I don't believe it either!) But sometimes such grand statements could look a bit silly, say, if they were written on a chalkboard outside a pub in a tiny Yorkshire village...

20th April 05 - Busking for your life I once went on a pilgrimage to Chicago, the cradle of electric blues. I trawled the blues clubs, only to find naff touristy tat and lame covers bands. I did however get to play in front of Buddy Guy at his club Legends, and he managed a smile and said "not bad, son". But I gave up searching for the ghost of Muddy Waters, and instead hit the South Side, the darker end of town, for a bit of reality. I found myself on a bleak, deserted street, and decided to get my guitar out: maybe the devil would stroll by and I could sell my soul to him like Robert Johnson. A bit lost in myself, I hear a voice. "Play some Marley, man." I look up to see two enormous, grinning rastas. "I don't know any, sorry". Biggest-rasta's face drops into a menacing scowl. "We aren't really asking, muthaf#*ka". So my version of Wait In Vain was born, and I was saved. As night fell deeper, I lifted my English chin and strode almost-confidently into a club. I stood out in two ways - I was the only white man, and I was the only one not staring at me. But there was a band playing some amazing twisted jazz/funk, so I stuck it out. I ordered a drink, and was approached by a few of the regulars. "You sure you're in the right place?" said the ringleader. "Sorry, erm, I didn't mean to intrude, erm..." "OH! You're English! Wow, I never met an English guy before! You sound just like Hugh Grant..." And so I was saved once more. I ended up very drunk, jamming with the band. Chatting with the very hip young jazz guitarist, he revealed his main influeces to be Julio Iglesias and Lionel Richie. He was serious. This story is entirely true. If I'd made it up it would feature dragons and a flying car Here's some pics I've been sent recently:

Jamming with funkmeisters Gallo

I'm on TV at last!

14th April 05 - Going Postal I get sent a LOT of emails these days, and try to reply to them all. My favourite ones are the ones heaping praise upon my guitaring, crooning and physical attractiveness (although the latter is admittedly rare, and are mostly from the same very disturbed man). I get sent lovely pictures. A little lad called Davoc recently sent me an animated version of the monkey T-shirt design, so here it is:
		There's also a lot of questions about my guitar playing. There's detailed technical stuff (the Gear Gallery Page will be up soon I promise, stop complaining), but also just simply "how do you get all those sounds from your guitar". The answer is, I have a trained baby chimp which lives inside my guitar and dances when the music starts. When the chimps grow too big, I simply release them into primary schools where they blend in unnoticed, and eventually become fully functioning members of society. Next time you see McFly on TV, look a bit closer... P.S. I am not obsessed with monkeys.
20th March 2005 - I drew a monkey, now you must VOTE For some time, my manager has been wanting to have some Jon Gomm™ T-shirts made to sell at gigs and from this website (then finally we'll be rich MWA HA HA HA HA HA). Every time she says she's getting them designed, I ask her to wait and let me do it, but then I keep forgetting. Anyway, I did it now, and I'd like your opinion please. You can register your vote on whether you like it or not by clicking one of the statements under the picture. If more people like it than don't, then T-shirts will be on the way!
NOW REGISTER YOUR VOTE:
It's simply delightful		It's rubbish you moron

16th January 05 - Einstein's fashion tips Just got interviewed by Sandman magazine [editor's note: read the interview here] The interviewer was asking me things like "what do you think of the current music scene", and "why do you always wear the same clothes?" OK, for those interested.... Q: "why do you always wear the same clothes" A: They're not the same clothes, or I'd really smell. But all my clothes do look the same. Einstein had seven suits, all the same, one for each day of the week. Why waste time choosing something when you don't give a monkeys? Q: "what do you think of the current music scene" A: GOOD THING - there's so many people taking up original-music-making now, and the variety of influences we can draw on is so great, that the scene is rich like a giant Jackson Pollock, colours running. BAD THING - it's impossible now for an "original-band" (i.e. playing mostly their own stuff) in the UK to make a living from playing gigs. The record deal is essential. Many young bands, who've only played a couple of shows, painstakingly tailor their look, their attitude and their sound to what is cool, and what will get them that elusive but oh-so-rewarding corporate deal. So whereas in the past record companies have had to cajole the bands into being more commercial, now the bands never sold-in to sell-out. And their ambition makes them easily exploitablable. Nothing truly original, no real soul-born art, can ever come from this situation. Eventually people's desire for good, wholesome music will overcome this. Hopefully.

SimonH made this montage. He's clearly easily scared

20th December 04 - Phew Last night was the final gig of an incredible year which has taken me all over the UK, to Italy; introduced me to some talented musicians both famous and unknown; seen my first album released and sold out; and given me new audiences in theatres, back-rooms in pubs, rock clubs and festival stages. I'm still in shock I think. Last night's gig was in Bradford at a folk-night, replete with irish-dancers and an accordian. This was an alien experience to me, and I thought that I'd sink like a lead zep, but actually they seemed to dig my thang (or take pity on me). In the end, it was a blast. Also this week: tremendous gig in Huddersfield, a town with a burdgeoning music scene at least in part down to the enthusiasm of Stevo Houghton. Proof that one person with lots of passion and a bit of nouse can transform local music scenes. The audience at The Love Apple, Bradford 19/12/04

Live at The Station, Huddersfield. Photo © Bob Rose www.EyesOpen.co.uk

photo © Bob Rose www.EyesOpen.co.uk			unexpected, but then when it happens seems like it was bound to happen (if that makes sense). It's eerie, but focuses the mind nicely. Anyway, Angelo kicks serious ass, and we'll be gigging together in future, mark my words. (His new album "Blood, Blues and Bad Dreams" is out now)

photo © Bob Rose www.EyesOpen.co.uk

4th December 04 - Journeyman Recent observations: •As I arrived at one recent venue, there was a fight taking place in the car park between two tiny octagenarian men. •Coventry's cathedral-ruins are awe-inspiring. The New Cathedral has the longest natural reverb I have ever heard. •Lancaster is rather nice, and the pub had posters on the wall from blues festivals in the early-90's I can remember going to with my dad. It also had a cushioned leather head-rest above the urinals in the gents, for those too drunk to stand. Read a review of the gig here

Packing up at The Swan, Addingham

The audience at The Green Room, Sheffield, 1/12/04

19th November 04 - Day Trippin' Played in Liverpool's Cavern Club last night. It was a thrill to play in front of that famous multi-coloured wall - if you look closely at the photo you can see The Beatles' little section of the band-mosaic. Just to set the mood, there was a Beatles tribute band playing in the next room during my gig. Classy. However, the audience stayed in my bit of the venue, so if you were there: THANKS! Another of my favourite bands-in-the-world-ever - The Screaming Headless Torsos - were playing that same night in Leeds. They've never been to the UK

before and I'd had tickets for the gig since July. However the tickets had the wrong date on them, and I was doomed to miss it. Determined to catch the end of it, I finished my gig in Liverpool and raced back across the Pennine Hills - or I would have done if the visibilty hadn't been "inside-of-pillow" quality. "20 miles an hour" said the flashing signs. "90, thanks" roared the BMW's to my right. Then, ker-pow. And we were waiting in a queue for an hour for the wreckage to be cleared.

When we eventually arrived in Leeds, it was late and the gig was long-finished, but I swung by the venue anyway, and lo! there was New-York-jazz-funk-thrash-hop guitar-legend David Fiuczynski standing in the doorway. He looked a bit tired from making his guitar go "weeeooo" and "RAAAARGH!" all night, but I told him my tale of woe, and he gave me a CD for my trouble. What a nice man. P.S. thanks to the crowd at The Grove for the laughs, the memories and the odours (that might have been me) Review here

The audience at The Grove, Leeds, 11/11/04

6th November 04 - Oo Ar The West Country leg of the tour... Bath is beautiful, and not only was the Green Park a lovely venue, they even cooked us a Sunday roast the following day. One highlight of Bath was the street performers - 2 large men dressed only in leather thongs performing bizarre acrobatics and lewd jokes, culminating with handstands atop rickety poles, with sparklers clenched between their buttocks. I'm currently working this trick into my live show. On the night off in Bristol I went to an open mic night (that's dedication), and partook of beer (I just felt a duty to show the southereners how to do it properly) and played Teenage Kicks by The Undertones in memory of John Peel. And met some nice poets. Poets are looneys. Or as Shelley put it: "poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world". Point proved, looney-boy. (I might be being ironic, please assume according to taste)

Live at The White Bear, Bristol - thanks to Tony O'Rourke for this picture

26th October 04 - Hedge Hog Some great gigs been and gone. In Harrogate was The Blues Bar, which seemed to have music in the walls. And in the West Midlands I played in a venue inside a recording studio, and in a big room in a pub. Both fab. There are friendly people everywhere, and luckily they like going to gigs. I love Michael Hedges. I'm gonna tell you why. He was an acoustic guitarist and singer-songwriter. His guitar playing broke all the rules, created lots of new rules and sounded

.....A flaming wheelbarrow (on the ceiling at The Blues Bar, Harrogate)

like nothing that had ever gone before. Bass rumbled; harmonies engulfed; counterpoint tickled; and spikes of treble scintillated, like a roof-full of snow falling on your head. His compositions veered from furiously busy and intricate, to aching with cavernous space, the musical equivalent

Front row at The Blues Bar, 20/10/04

of lying on your back watching the clouds. I only heard his music relatively recently. I was trying guitars in a shop in Chicago in November 2001, and had gathered a small crowd with my silly songs, and somebody asked which Michael Hedges song I was playing. Having never heard him, I bought a CD the next day. As it turned out, this Hedges dude would never have have demeaned himself by playing the crap I was dallying with at that time, as he was clearly a genius. He's since become a massive influence on my sound, and one of the main reasons for me switching from electric to acoustic. He died on December 1st 1997 by accidentally driving his car off a cliff. Seems he could only fly in his mind. I wish he was still alive. If you haven't heard him, try the compilation CD Beyond Boundaries. If I say "You know, I can play," it’s not going to turn out as good as "I wonder what I can do now?" Michael Hedges

One of the support acts at The Royal George in Digbeth - "The Acoustic Who" featuring flower-child, Pete (left)

19th October 04 - Tyneside and tantrums
Had a fantastic sell-out gig at The Bridge in Newcastle. Incredibly high-quality support was provided by John Edgell, Nev Clay and Beccy Owen. It wasn't easy following that lot, I tell ya. Thanks to James Adamson for putting the gig togther.

The following night was at the other end of the gigging spectrum: a supporting set for Wreckless Eric in Leicester. When I arrived at the venue, Eric was busy sounchecking. "The monitors sound funny" Eric shouted at the soundman. "They're not swtiched on yet" came the reply. "Are you saying I'm stupid?" yelped Eric. "No" came the response. "Don't get clever with me, son" snarled Eric. "I've not been in this business for 30 years to be insulted by the likes of you. Go f#*k yourself!" "OK, I'll go f#*k myself, Eric" came the weary response from behind the mixing desk. But it was too late. Eric snarled, drooled and stormed out. He then stormed back in, packed up his gear and left, never to be seen again.

Joe, the guy organising the night, said to me "OK, Jon, it looks like you've just moved up the billing. How long can you play for?" Silly question.

Live at The Bridge, Newcastle

Live at The Shed, Leicester

19th September 04 - A friend for Wilma
Not posted an entry here for ages... sorry! Been busy gigging, writing some new songs and playing my beautiful new guitar. I was informed by some guitar fanatics about a good Lowden for sale, so I drove down to London after a gig in Otley, arrived at about 4am, got up a couple of hours later and drove across the sprawling metrop, shaking with caffeine, to the home of the lovely Gavin, who has a nice collection of guitars (although it's not quite as nice anymore!) I am now the owner of another beautiful Lowden guitar. The harmonics it produces are bright like starbursts, the bass warm and sensuous, the curves of its body sleek yet sumptous.... hmmm... I think I'd better stop this kind of talk or people will get suspicious. Anyway, it doesn't deserve the beating it will inevitably receive at my hand. I have decided to spare it the rigours of life on the road for the time being, but its day will surely come. It is called Betty. Say "Hello Betty".

"HELLO BETTY!"

Here's some pics from recent adventures:

	The audience from The Faversham, Leeds: Like a perfect microcosm of society, including a sleepy bearded gentleman, a clown in a wheelchair, and one fella in the middle who clearly knows where the camera is. The clown was later spotted dancing (seriously), which is either a testament to the healing power of music or to the laziness of clowns.
	Sometimes when on tour I have to stay in some scummy little hovels, as shown by this house of depravity in London. On the left here is Sonny, a guitarist of note. Sometimes two notes.
	Meanwhile outside the above London fleapit, my beautiful car has been mercilessly clamped. I have appealed against the incarceration on the grounds that it doesn't normally start anyway, so what's the point of clamping it?
	This is Wilma, my faithful companion. If she looks a little nervous don't let that fool you - she's just getting ready to ROCK

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